What other places call Downtown, we call Uptown. Because we do. And do not ever abbreviate the Saint. Do not ever EVER add an apostrophe and an s. That pisses us off.
We adore stories, especially about Americans, who mix up Saint John and St. John's. Did you hear about the travel agent who sent a whole triple A hockey team to the wrong city? That was awesome.
We are a city like any other city I suppose. If all other cities are ass backwards and proud of it. I hate it so much sometimes.
We have our local crazies that we support wholeheartedly in their right to wander their respective neighborhoods being crazy. Do NOT fuck with our crazy people. We know them by name. We know their stories. We love them. Leave them alone or face the indignant wrath of the community. We have no qualms about sicking a news chaser group on you.
We swear each side of town breeds it's own type of person. We don't always trust snobs from the burbs. Looking at you Rothesay.
We know what is wrong with our town and we get defensive with outsiders. We seem unwelcoming yet totally welcoming. Here have an Alpine and shut up, you Upper Canadian bastard.
We know that you are going to judge us and we are working on getting our shit together but it is slow going. We want to show you what we are good at, just, shhhhhhhh about the rest.
We have an aging conservative population, loads of old money, even more poverty and a dismal job market. We have grass roots community groups that get mittens on little hands and lunches in bellies. In the summer even the poorest kids can get to a beach. Each side of town has well known spot to cool off and who knows how many "secret" ones.
We have high rates of sexual assault, addiction, teen and single parents, domestic violence, and women seem to disappear or be murdered an awful lot. We do have a police force....
We can't even have food trucks :(
We have a problem with a bad attitude. We are negative nellies. We don't want outsider's opinions on our problems. We barely want our own actually. Oh glaring problems with obvious solutions? Please don't point those out. Lalalalala can't hear yoouuuuuuu.
We are too much like Springfield. Yes, as in the Simpsons. We even have a nuclear power plant outside of town and a Mr. Burns. Our mayors are generally Quimbyesque in effectiveness if not in gender or background. Moncton is our Shelbyville.
We are envious of other cities and other provinces. l think social media is showing us what we are missing. I am glad so many of us went West and are posting pics. Thank you rest of Canada for rubbing the awesome things about modern times in our faces. Life is not all deep fried seafood and April Wine at the Three Mile.
We have good places for sushi. We have galleries showing of local artists. We are using our boardwalk for outdoor patios and events. Local bands are playing new and exciting music. We have festivals. We have yoga and belly dancing. We have a place that sells fancy olive oil and we have veggie buying clubs for local produce at good prices. We have bike trails and walking trails and we have seals swimming in the harbour. Marsh creek freezes now. People want blue box recycling.
We have Zombie Walks and we have people fighting for the right access abortion and to sell food out of trucks. Saint John is not the town it used to be. Saint John doesn't seem as old but it seems more mature. Ready to do....something. Not sure what, but dammit we're ready.
I will never move from here, that I know. No place I have ever been has made my heart swell as when I see something uniquely, beautifully Saint John. Looking out over the South End from on top of the hill watching the sun rise over the roof tops. The storm swells at Bayshore or Saint's Rest over West. Seals in the harbour, bald eagles on the power lines. Rain on cobblestones. King Square lit up in the snow. Lobster boats loaded with traps at the wharf. The giant trees in the old neighborhoods. Crown molding and marble fireplaces in dive apartments.
This is home. It needs work, but it is mine, and I love it.
