To Boldly Go.

Like many Trekkies out there, I could say, "Star Trek, Spock in particular, meant a lot to me." and it would be true. It would be an understatement, but definitely true. 

I am who I am because I had a figure, or rather figureS, I could identify with and who inspired me to think about more than my immediate surroundings. To seek out experiences, to not to wait for life to happen to me. To embrace the strange, to not be a passive observer of my own life. 

When I felt alien, I learned to embrace it. The aliens on Star Trek were cool. The cast and crew earned their positions because of their strangeness. If a green chick could land Kirk, I figured someone would have to like me, right? At a time when I was trying so hard to be unique yet fit in, the world of Star Fleet was a world of possibility.

The crew of the USS Starship Enterprise (NCC-1701) each represented a part of myself. Smart and beautiful Uhura. Cocky, passionate Kirk. Cautious protective Montgomery Scott. Innocent Chekov. Sarcastic, McCoy. Cool, logical, detached Spock. Analytical Sulu.

Each new world or alien race they encountered showed me another aspect of my self and helped me understand others. The aliens of Star Trek gave me more insight into the human condition than years of bumbling my way through awkward social interactions at school ever could.  

I learned that you could choose to stun instead of kill. I learned the value of the away mission. I learned the importance of the Prime Directive, to leave people to find their own course. When to say fuck it and intervene. I learned the trouble with Tribbles and I learned logic. I learned sometimes you have to abandon ship. I learned everyone faces a Kobyashi Maru. 

My beloved Instagram account is under Spocksmum. It has always been a silly source of pride that Spock had a human mother named Amanda. 

That beautiful starship is slowly emptying. Kirk, Sulu, Chekov and Uhura man the bridge. Engineering is strangely quiet. No one monitoring for signs of life over at the science station. There is not even a medic. I say goodbye to each of the wonderful people who provided so much fuel for my imagination and l see stations going dark. Lights going out, stars falling from the sky.

"Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."

The siren song of the theramin. The call of the nerdy, the un cool, the outcasts, the weirdos and the aliens. I will be forever grateful I heeded the call. I learned not just to GO, to boldly go. I learned that to live long and prosper you need to wish others peace and long life. I learned to be confident in what I know, to use my sensors and to wear my weirdness like a uniform that I earned and to defend what that uniform stands for. 

So tonight, with gratitude and sadness, I shall raise a glass to Mr. Leonard Nimoy. A man so much more than that one character yet who embodied that character so perfectly.  May his soul continue to boldly go, and may he be in the company of his crew once more. If only I had a Vulcan Brandy.