Dear "Doctor"

If you are a Doctor, that’s fabulous for you. How the hell that pertains to your reservation, account, service or appointment I do not know, but unless you are currently massaging someone’s heart I don’t see why I should have to call you Doctor or go out of my way for you. Woo hoo you can save lives, you’re kind of a dick. Six year olds know please and thank you. 

Phd you say? I should call you what now? Oh Hell no, Brainy Smurf. If you spent 12 years in school yet can't cut people open or prescribe drugs well, bully, that’s right Bully, for you. I'm not calling you Doctor. The years you spent in school mean nothing to me. Much like the topic of your thesis to the world at large. Which is why you are flying coach, in arrears and so stressed you need to see a real Doctor for some pills you can’t prescribe.

So your husband is a Doctor. Lovely for you I'm sure the wedding was divine. Not sure what that has to do with anything but congratulations anyway. I'm terribly sorry but I did check and there is no policy of allowing Doctors carte blanche to do what they want regardless of safety or consideration for others. I KNOW! I was floored. Would you like me to explain that to him? Oh, he's at his office. I see, well perhaps if you were still his nurse/secretary you would be at the office too having sex with him in a supply closet like whey you first met instead of home doing his busy work.