Sticks and Stones

 I wait until everyone is asleep. I turn out all the lights and make sure the windows are closed. I go into the inner most closet and shut the door. Only when I am sure I can't be heard by prying ears do I say it. Over and over and over and over again. Fast slow loud soft. With fear, reverence, with GLEE. The N word. I pretend for a while that I am Chris Rock.


Ok. Not really. Well, not often.

You see, I am jealous of the N word. Being a part "aboriginal" I get sort of bent out of shape that Whitey didn't even bother to call us anything original.

Indians. Because that is who they really wanted but they got us instead.  They went looking for a nice curry and the Kama Sutra and here you go, frigid cold and boiled moose nose. We're Indians of Disappointment and have been treated accordingly.


It annoys me that it is pretty obvious the white man assumed none of us would be around for long enough to need a standardized racial slur. Then when we kept insisting on not dying off they came up with a few but the best ones are used for sports teams. Not even lacrosse.

I wish me and the other three "Indians" I know could call each other horrible names and be stickin it to the man at the same time.The only thing we have to "take back" is a bunch of land that already has two countries built on it. And we're pretty busy and can't find any other Natives to hang out with and mobilize into an impressive movement with fancy bandannas and rap music.

Remember Oka? Other than some really tan Trailer Park Boys standing around a dirt road, me either.  Burnt Church? TPB's on boats.
If anyone outside of Winnipeg gave some thought to Native Gangs they would picture rival casino workers, maroon vests vs. mustard yellow, Beating each other over the head with dream catchers in a back parking lot for eagle feathers and illegal cigarettes.

I think if we had something to rally around, a really hard hitting historical face punch kind of a thing,  the Natives would become more of a culture and less of a touristy cliche. Tourists go to Auschwitz and Southern Plantations and Slave outposts in the Caribbean and use words like "awestruck" "ashamed" and "overwhelming".

They use words like "neat!" "which way to the slots" and "drunk" while visiting anywhere Nativey. And it sucks all our sites of mass atrocities have suburbs and crap built on them. Sure now and again we haunt something but you don't see young Natives in Vancouver sayin "hey yo Poltergeist, whats goin on"

So here we are, oppressed, largely ignored until someone wants us to wave some burning grass around and appear wise. Or even better for the group self esteem, show up and be living representations of something that no longer exists in the wild.

I just don't care the word Native. Like we are just the natural crap that was found laying around and frankly not even the most interesting stuff the place has to offer. I much prefer the other N word. It has panache. It has multiple definitions and can be used in different ways. It sounds good with a beat.

Some celebrate the N word with abandon and others want it dead, buried and forgotten. Some people want to remove it from classics like To Kill a Mockingbird and Uncle Tom's Cabin.

 Are you fucking kidding me? You can't just delete the word that sums up the horrors and the triumphs of the African experience in the New World from important and wonderful books then let Eminem throw it around like so much sweat off Lil Jon's balls.

Taking the piss out of the word trivializes the fight against the regime that created it. How many mothers used not using the word as an essential first step to not being an asshole? How many people read those classics and then and there decided they are NOT racists. That bold word, hidden in the old fashioned prose assaults you from the page. It wakes you up and forces you to think about very uncomfortable subjects.

It is imperative I believe to both abhor and celebrate the the journey of the N word through history and through art. People need to know that the bad old days of the word were not that long ago. For fuck sakes some school districts in Mississippi and other states still to this day have segregated proms. Real live segregation. In the 21st century.

How do you fight that?

With honesty. Don't hide the facts or edit the books. Read Harper Lee then listen to some old Public Enemy or Tupac. Read Dr. King and Mark Twain. Compare now to 50 years ago to a hundred and fifty.  Most of all do not delete or edit history. Don't turn around and go back and start messing around. Its like word processing and if we navigate away from the page we are on we could lose any unsaved changes.