Old Dudes on Skateboards

I love watching old dudes skateboard. You see them early in the morning or in the fog, at weird times of the year at the skate park. They have grey hair or are balding. Their clothes are maybe a little rattier from being 25 years old, or brand new and expensive. Like they went out and bought all new gear yesterday, when they said “Fuck it. I love doing this. Being 40 is not stopping me from assaulting a half pipe.” That’s what I love. That there is a 14 year old flipping off cops inside of someone’s Dad.

I love men for their ability to do things they love their whole lives. There are old dudes in old dude leagues for just about every sport you can think of. There are old dudes in garage bands right now jamming like their first gig is this weekend. They build fishing shacks and hunting shacks that are just grown up forts. Old dudes are pulling each others' fingers, giving each other grief and calling themselves by 30 year old nick names. They never forget how to play.

Why don’t women do that? As soon as we reach whatever milestone we put away our dolls, our dancing shoes or our skates and patiently wait for a daughter to maybe pick up where we left off. We put our energy into being Women with a capital W. Ladies. Moms. We stop being girls, chicks, babes. I don’t think that is fair at all. I think it is teaching our girls a terrible lesson. Childhood ends but I think it is wrong to put an end to childish things. I for one will be a Babe when I’m 70.

I purchased a very grown up piece of furniture a few weeks ago. A solid wood buffet that came in a very large box. I spent about an hour arranging by vintage bar items on top and inside and was pleased. I made drink. Then I promptly built a fort and hung out in the box with some pillows and the open door facing the television. The dog came in and had a chew on a bone. The cats took turns popping in and out. We watched American Dad and Project Runway. I felt like I had spent a week at a spa. Slightly more rumpled, but far more energized.

It was a pretty typical thing for me to do.

I always dress up for Halloween. I run, skip, hop around my apartment. I sing out loud every chance I get and I never miss a day at the beach. I eat candy or chocolate daily. I give birthday cards from the cats. I say things suck goat balls. I spit out food I don’t like then wipe my tongue with a napkin.I bake a lot of cakes. I serve h'ors d'oevres on Tuesdays for supper. I have 1940’s tea pot that I bought only because it looks a bum but I think is actually a peach. I call my kids butt sniffers and we burp out loud. My Mother still buys my underwear for me. Every Christmas from the same store since I was 13. Jacob if you must know.

I don’t know if all these little things will keep me young. I hope they will. I keep my Grandmother and her BFF in mind. Nanny is in her 80s now, Alma, her BFF is 102. They say they are each others Girl. They eat candy every chance they get and they never forget to share. They get a huge kick out animated stuffed animals that sing funny songs. Alma still wears stockings with garters and wears lipstick and rouge everyday. She has the smoothest most kissable cheeks ever. Nanny will still make the occasional boob joke. They laugh so much. Alma and my Nanny are Babes. Just like I hope to be forever.

........................................and when no one is looking, I can still ollie. In heels.  

                                                 Best Fort Ever. Complete with custom window.