Yes, yes, I know I haven't typed a word in weeks. I have a bunch of reasons most of which are trivial at best, up to and including my dog ate a pound of butter and I was tired from cleaning it up.
I'm not sure what my problem was. I have my theories, but none of its interesting enough to write about. Certainly it is no coincidence that the sun is shining and I have remembered how to string thoughts together.
I am tempted to set myself up outside but I am still very lazy. I have no trouble getting motivated about something once. It is staying that way that is so frigging difficult. I get tired. I don't think I am a naturally slothful person. If I was I would be up to my neck in cat shit and probably not gainfully employed.
My problem is that I am naturally defiant. About everything. Reverse psychology works beautifully on me. I know I am supposed to work out and eat right and watch portion sizes and do it everyday and make my kids to it too but I don't wanna. Its hard. And the kids wont eat kohlrabi or cous cous and neither will I. It smells funny.
I think by defiant I mean immature. Possibly drunk. I move very slowly. I don't like sweating. I don't like being flabby either and it peeves me beyond belief that fancy clothes I like don't hang right. I pre-ordered a slutty Halloween costume to try and motivate myself and I still have not done very much. Not so much as an extra crunch.
Actually, that implies that I do crunches. I don't. I won't. I won't do planks, push ups, pull ups, sit ups or suicides either. I prefer not to ever jog. Anything that makes me wish I was dead I try not to do. If I was kidnapped by terrorists I would tell them everything I know after about 4 minutes of P90X.
Not sure why they need to know how to make margaritas and give blow jobs, but whatever, they're the terrorists.
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