This Call May Be Recorded

I have worked in the worlds most hateful profession for almost 14 years. Being a customer service agent you learn a lot about people. You learn many things about the world in general, especially if like me you have had the dubious pleasure of working in a few different industries.

The first thing you learn is that racial stereotypes exist for one specific reason, those people actually exist, behave that way, and I know you're going to ask, yes, I can tell over the phone because people tell you things. Or have very obvious names.

I don't know how many times I have thought to myself "if this call were recorded it would be very very bad for the (insert group here)". Every time a woman smugly hands the phone to her husband to try and get what she wants I really do feel like asking him to please slap this bitch and I will do whatever they want.

Or men who will try and bully you, treat you like a complete idiot, argue every little thing and get belligerent  and actually physically threaten you when you have to follow whatever process. I live in a small city, I would love to go into the businesses of some of these fucking assholes be a complete pain in the ass and flip right the fuck out as only a pissed off Atlantic Canadian Woman can.

I have at times been tempted to say "Yeah COME GET ME"  and then what? I dunno. They just make me so mad!

I have learned that people are never satisfied. This is universal.The seat is on the aisle but its not on the bulkhead. My cup is plastic I want a real glass. The ocean view is only nice at day time at night its all black. I bought this over there but they aren't open can you give me my money back. The red cross took us to a hurricane shelter thats not on the beach, my vacation was supposed to be on the beach. I breached my contract and now want you to still honor your part, no not like that, my way.

Seriously people? The bulkhead hits the ground first. You can't have a glass because it can break then terror happens. You asked for ocean view, I am sorry you did not realize it does not light up at night so you can see it. No, just NO my God what's wrong with you? The beach is trying to kill you right now, trust the Red Cross and shut up. Look up contract in the dictionary, blow yourself, then call me back.

People are very cavalier about their lives. They really have no clue. I don't know how people think planes fly but they seem to think NOT taking off in a screaming blizzard, is just plain stupid. Why would you complain about de icing a plane? Should we just not do it to save time? Last time I checked it takes even longer to find a crashed plane. Best sit next to someone frail yet tasty looking.

Also seasons are called seasons because they happen at the same time and do the same things every year. It is actually a very convenient system. Useful for planning stuff. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Hurricane, Monsoon, High, Low etc. Insurance is offered for a reason but no policy covers stupid.

If you are a Canadian, lived in Winnipeg all your life and only take 3 days off to try and get across the country December 23rd and return on the 26th to be at work that night, you should be stripped of citizenship.

I wish we could out these bastards. Most of them are repeat offenders and I am betting that they think they are all that and a bag of chips. I wish I could get their Facebook profiles and use their profile pic to create  rogues gallery of ass clowns. Or send out cards that have a picture of a turd on it that say "This is you". 

At Christmas when people of all colours and beliefs come together to abuse the shit out of anyone in the service industry the cards would say "You made Baby Jesus cry. Enjoy your purchases... in HELL"