BAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure if what I have is a writer's block so much as there is too much in my brain and when it comes out it sucks because it is written in haste at odd hours. The kids have been lurking around like Igors with ADHD. It is very difficult to maintain control of precious IT resources. Finding a quiet spot with flat surface is like finding horcruxes. You would think I was sneaking around looking for some porn and a wank in the middle of the day. 

No! I want to write about other people sneaking around for wanks goddammit! Is that really so wrong?

See those words up there? Took me an hour and a half. 90 minutes gone just like that. Talk about the  blue balls! Try not being able to complete a thought for 90 minutes. Just as you start forming the bubble it gets promptly popped. AND, oh joy, you get told a scintillating disjointed "story" about the sink the cat and some nail polish. I mean, I love being a Mommy!

I'm serious I do. I just tend to keep the bloody obvious things, like loving my children, mostly to myself. The excrutiating minutiae of parent hood is boring to everyone not related by blood or in the room at the moment of grossness/cuteness. Why can't you just raise your kids and if you want your friends to like and enjoy them bring them around! Show us the baby! We love seeing babies! Love babies, hate crap. 

Facebook is being plagued by one of those copy me statuseses, about blah blah had a baby in  me then it came out and puked on me and I'm all proud I love not sleeping and shit on the sheets makes me happy my greatest accomplishment is one that every female mammal from weasels to Snookie does at some point in their lives yay me my stretchy twat and ability to lactate are martyrs for the species!!! <3 <3 :D!!!... piss off.

I have issues with these things. First of all if you can't come up with your own status just skip it. Second, don't judge/threaten me that if I don't post poorly written twaddle as my status it means I pee on the terminally ill and keep my kids tied to their beds. Third, if you are worried that people on your list eat babies and punch mentally challenged people in the face or smoke at cancer patients, why don't you just delete the jerks instead of boring the rest of us? Why are these assholes your friends?

Why are all those hateful people on your list in the first place? Oh wait a minute, I get it. You sanctimonious cunt, you think your better than the rest of us because you publicly posted that you love sponge bathing the homeless while breastfeeding adopted mentally challenged lesbian twins! I see how you are.

I have to go now. The light of my life and meaning of my existence is trying to leave the house dressed like a trans-gendered prostitute. SO CUTE!! :) <3!!!!!