Gentlemen Start Your Engines

Applicant Information

Name

Facebook Name

Do you have an address?

Is it clean? YES  NOT AT ALL

Same as your mom’s?

How many children?

Pets?

Roommates?

Ever had sex of any sort with your roomie/s? Drunk or sober?

Fetishes

E-mail Address

Do you like cats?

Are you taking any medication?

Is what you have dangerous or contagious? Viral/bacterial or mental?

Don’t be coy just tell me what’s wrong with you. So I may judge you.

Are you a threat to homeland security?

YES

NO

If no, are you authorized to work in Canada & will/do you?

YES

NO

Have you ever worked for this company?

YES

NO

If so, when, and why are you back?

Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

White collar, Violent, Drug related or sexual/creepy?

Describe your penis in 4 words.

Education

What makes you think you’re so clever?

Does a PhD mean you’re entitled to be called Doctor at all times?

Stolichnaya or Absolut?

Star Trek or Star Wars?

Mac or PC?

Extended warranty or take your chances?

What time is cocktail hour?

Biggie or Pac?

State your 2 favourite laws of physics.

Superman or Batman?

Did you graduate?

YES

NO

What did you graduate?

References

Please list three professional references. One each financial, personal & sexual. Do not include family members.

Full Name

How do they know you?

Email address

What do you think they will say about you?

Full Name

How do they know you?

Email address

What do you think they will say about you?

Full Name

How do they know you?

Email address

What do you think they will say about you?