An old friend, someone I spent some really great times with a few years ago, died and her funeral is tomorrow. She had the most brilliant smile I have ever seen. It is what struck me about her the day I met her. There is such a thing as a smile that lights a room, she had it. She was funny. She was friendly and fun and heartbreakingly sad.
I can count on one hand how many times I ran into her over the past couple years. I had made the tough decision to take one path and she had taken another. Each time we would hug, and vaguely agree we should meet up. We never did.
I wish I could re-make those coffee dates.It would have taken two minutes to exchange numbers.
I wish I could spend twenty minutes with each of my friends and really listen to them. I wish I could tell each of them how much their presence in my memories means to me. I would write letters to each of them that would all start with "Remember that time when..."
I look at my Facebook and realize how fortunate I am. I really am friends with and see or communicate with many of my list on a fairly regular basis. I have friends on there from elementary school. The thing is, do I ever tell them anything important? Are the online communications as valuable as sitting down over something warm and really talking?
I know I am the worst for not showing up, for pushing things off. I never think to myself, "If we don't meet for coffee tomorrow or drinks next week one of us could die, better make sure we hook up!" Maybe I should. Maybe everyone should.
We should start taking the time and exchanging numbers, or making effort to keep in touch for real. We live in the time of Facebook, email & Skype, how the hell are we losing touch with people? Why don't I write letters to my friends who live away while I am watching TV? It would take 5 minutes for me to email them and ask for their addresses. Its not like a few stamps will break the bank. I still remember how to write cursive. Am I really too lazy for friendships?
I think I need to add something else to my list of things to change. I need to stop being slack with people. I should say yes more and I should stop not answering my phone. What am I saving my voice for anyway? Is it that hard to just pick a day and time and show up? What is more important, catching up with someone you have not seen in years or cleaning the bathroom? It should be a no brainer.
So tomorrow I go to say goodbye to Girl With the Beautiful Smile, and I will also say I'm sorry and I will hope I will never have to say that to a friend ever again.
Don't Give a Damn About My Bad Reputation
Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gratitude. Show all posts
Friday, May 6, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Sunday Times... Easter Edition
God, Mrs. God, Esther (not the Esther) as she is known to her closest friends, and Jesus, all his zombie nonsense aside, really enjoyed Jesus' birthday celebrations. As usual Heaven partied it up late into the wee hours Sunday morning.
Everything went off without a hitch, the food was fantastic, Jesus was at his best turning everything that would stay still into wine, root beer and the tastiest little crab things anyone ever had.
She was is such a good mood she did not even correct Jude when one of the camels backed up onto his foot and he said "God dammit!" then fell on the ground and did the Peter Griffin while everyone laughed their heads off.
Around 5am Atlantic Earth time Yahweh and his Son stood looking at the World. They saw a woman and a dog walking in the drizzle. The woman was exhausted and the dog was beside itself with joy.
The dog was fully aware of how wonderful it was to outside FIRST. No other dogs were out yet, and she was with her woman. She could smell the raccoons and some of the messes they had made. Best of all she could smell her part of the World coming alive again. It was good to not to feel salt on her paws. She kept rolling in the wet grass because she could.
The woman had come home from her job sometime before. She could feel the tired in her bones that were still young enough to have no business feeling like that. She was old enough to have two children sleeping a couple blocks away. Her son, was almost old enough to drive, and would probably have his licence before she did. Her daughter, would not believe in the Easter Bunny much longer.
Jesus and his Father kept watching and started to listen as the pair made there way to a spot near the Sea. It was dark but they could smell it and the sound eased the the woman's exhaustion.
They sat down and the dog leaned hard against her woman. Not for warmth, just because she could. The woman leaned into the dog, also, just because she could.
The two Men heard the woman think this.
I am grateful to be here,
To be stronger today than yesterday.
I am honored to have been given this strength,
and to have had opportunities to test it.
I am fortunate to have won my battles,
and privileged to finally have peace.
I am grateful for now, THIS moment,
and every moment of beauty I have ever experienced.
For each love I have had, for each loss I've endured
I've seen how treasured those moments and loved ones were
I am thankful I have a life full of love.
I am grateful there is still a road ahead.
I cannot see the sun but I know it is there.
Every season, each year,moment to moment, children grow, I get older
I am blessed with faith.
I have faith that the Sun will warm strawberries my daughter will pick for me
And the precious sea glass my son will press into my palm.
They will throw their warm brown bodies onto mine and hug me to the sand.
In this dark time I know the light is there,
I can smell the grass growing and feel fog instead of snow,
I know that something new indeed has risen and will rise each day forever.
I am of this Earth as my children are of me.
In love, peace and dignity we live together,
Love makes me strong.
The woman squeezed the dog, and in her doggy way the dog smiled. They went Home.
Ancient Yahweh and his young Son kept listening to the World.
In dreams, in waking thoughts, in prayers, God and Jesus heard GOOD. If war and hatred and greed and envy were a black wool blanket, they were seeing moth holes of light, expanding, as the blackness got eaten away.
People were loving each other. People were thankful for the day, yet they knew it was coming. They were loving the Earth, their World, and honoring her, and their family's and each other, celebrating in their hearts that they had strength that day, in that moment, to get up. To face the day and the challenges and the tiredness and still be grateful at the end of that day for, something.
As their beloved People, the points of light in the dark began moving around, sharing kind words, a smile, a few dollars to some one in need, or just doing their best to their best selves, God turned to his boy, "You did good Son."
"I know Dad. I'm gonna do more, I swear." Jesus said, and God was happy.
"Happy Other Birthday Boy"
"Thanks Dad."
..........."Hey Dad?"
"What is it J?"
"..............I WANT TO EAT YOUR SOOOOULLLLLLLL GGGGGRRRRAAAAAAGGUHHH"
Everything went off without a hitch, the food was fantastic, Jesus was at his best turning everything that would stay still into wine, root beer and the tastiest little crab things anyone ever had.
She was is such a good mood she did not even correct Jude when one of the camels backed up onto his foot and he said "God dammit!" then fell on the ground and did the Peter Griffin while everyone laughed their heads off.
Around 5am Atlantic Earth time Yahweh and his Son stood looking at the World. They saw a woman and a dog walking in the drizzle. The woman was exhausted and the dog was beside itself with joy.
The dog was fully aware of how wonderful it was to outside FIRST. No other dogs were out yet, and she was with her woman. She could smell the raccoons and some of the messes they had made. Best of all she could smell her part of the World coming alive again. It was good to not to feel salt on her paws. She kept rolling in the wet grass because she could.
The woman had come home from her job sometime before. She could feel the tired in her bones that were still young enough to have no business feeling like that. She was old enough to have two children sleeping a couple blocks away. Her son, was almost old enough to drive, and would probably have his licence before she did. Her daughter, would not believe in the Easter Bunny much longer.
Jesus and his Father kept watching and started to listen as the pair made there way to a spot near the Sea. It was dark but they could smell it and the sound eased the the woman's exhaustion.
They sat down and the dog leaned hard against her woman. Not for warmth, just because she could. The woman leaned into the dog, also, just because she could.
The two Men heard the woman think this.
I am grateful to be here,
To be stronger today than yesterday.
I am honored to have been given this strength,
and to have had opportunities to test it.
I am fortunate to have won my battles,
and privileged to finally have peace.
I am grateful for now, THIS moment,
and every moment of beauty I have ever experienced.
For each love I have had, for each loss I've endured
I've seen how treasured those moments and loved ones were
I am thankful I have a life full of love.
I am grateful there is still a road ahead.
I cannot see the sun but I know it is there.
Every season, each year,moment to moment, children grow, I get older
I am blessed with faith.
I have faith that the Sun will warm strawberries my daughter will pick for me
And the precious sea glass my son will press into my palm.
They will throw their warm brown bodies onto mine and hug me to the sand.
In this dark time I know the light is there,
I can smell the grass growing and feel fog instead of snow,
I know that something new indeed has risen and will rise each day forever.
I am of this Earth as my children are of me.
In love, peace and dignity we live together,
Love makes me strong.
The woman squeezed the dog, and in her doggy way the dog smiled. They went Home.
Ancient Yahweh and his young Son kept listening to the World.
In dreams, in waking thoughts, in prayers, God and Jesus heard GOOD. If war and hatred and greed and envy were a black wool blanket, they were seeing moth holes of light, expanding, as the blackness got eaten away.
People were loving each other. People were thankful for the day, yet they knew it was coming. They were loving the Earth, their World, and honoring her, and their family's and each other, celebrating in their hearts that they had strength that day, in that moment, to get up. To face the day and the challenges and the tiredness and still be grateful at the end of that day for, something.
As their beloved People, the points of light in the dark began moving around, sharing kind words, a smile, a few dollars to some one in need, or just doing their best to their best selves, God turned to his boy, "You did good Son."
"I know Dad. I'm gonna do more, I swear." Jesus said, and God was happy.
"Happy Other Birthday Boy"
"Thanks Dad."
..........."Hey Dad?"
"What is it J?"
"..............I WANT TO EAT YOUR SOOOOULLLLLLLL GGGGGRRRRAAAAAAGGUHHH"
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
No Love Like Puppy Love
I cried recently over the passing of dog I never met. From his pictures you can see he was a noble companion. He had the air of an ancient and adored teddy bear. Careworn and all more lovely for it.
I am going to cry later today, possibly while writing this, over a dog I met only briefly many years ago. She was older than my son by two years and I remember when her human first got her.
I cry for dogs, and their people because the love of a dog is so pure and innocent and unconditional. The world needs as much as that as it can get. So, when a dog dies I feel sad.
I also cry because we usually do not get the luxury of having our Good Dogs just slip away into death on their favorite blanket. We cling to our dogs and keep them with us as long as we can. The dogs never seem to mind no matter how inconvenient living becomes.
In some ways I believe God does not intervene with dogs on purpose. Dogs give us so much it is fair that we take that walk with them.
In some ways it is a gift, that last goodbye, in others so painful. That final tail wag, so tired, but still trying to smile in that doggy way.
To the last moment, the Good Dog wants their Person to be happy, to know they are loved & appreciated and they are grateful for every treat, every walk and belly rub.
And the Good Human, smiles through tears and holds on. Smelling that smell of sunshine, dirt and goodness a final time, grateful for every lick, every lesson learned. Because they are better people for having been loved by a dog.
I am going to cry later today, possibly while writing this, over a dog I met only briefly many years ago. She was older than my son by two years and I remember when her human first got her.
I cry for dogs, and their people because the love of a dog is so pure and innocent and unconditional. The world needs as much as that as it can get. So, when a dog dies I feel sad.
I also cry because we usually do not get the luxury of having our Good Dogs just slip away into death on their favorite blanket. We cling to our dogs and keep them with us as long as we can. The dogs never seem to mind no matter how inconvenient living becomes.
In some ways I believe God does not intervene with dogs on purpose. Dogs give us so much it is fair that we take that walk with them.
In some ways it is a gift, that last goodbye, in others so painful. That final tail wag, so tired, but still trying to smile in that doggy way.
To the last moment, the Good Dog wants their Person to be happy, to know they are loved & appreciated and they are grateful for every treat, every walk and belly rub.
And the Good Human, smiles through tears and holds on. Smelling that smell of sunshine, dirt and goodness a final time, grateful for every lick, every lesson learned. Because they are better people for having been loved by a dog.
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